Is it Your Grandchild or a Scammer? How Grandparent Scams Manipulate You

Grandparent scams are particularly cruel because they take advantage of your love and concern for your family. Scammers pretend to be your grandchild or another loved one in distress, hoping to tug at your heartstrings and convince you to send them money. These scams often happen over the phone, but they can also come through text messages, email, or even social media. The scammers rely on emotional manipulation to trick you into acting quickly, without taking the time to verify their story.

In this article, we'll explain how grandparent scams work, what signs to watch out for, and steps you can take to protect yourself.

How Grandparent Scams Work

A grandparent scam usually begins with a phone call, although it can also come through a text message or email. The scammer pretends to be a grandchild or other family member in urgent need of help. They might say they’ve been in a car accident, are stuck in a foreign country, or are in trouble with the law. They’ll usually ask for money right away, either for bail, medical expenses, or to pay for travel.

The scammer often begs you not to tell anyone else, saying they’re embarrassed or scared. This isolates you, making it harder for you to double-check the story with other family members. The scammer’s goal is to make you act quickly, out of love and fear, so you’ll send the money before realizing something is wrong.

Common Signs of a Grandparent Scam

Here are the key warning signs to help you spot a grandparent scam:

1. Unexpected call or message from a “grandchild” in trouble

The scam usually begins with a call, email, or text message claiming to be from your grandchild or another family member. The person will sound upset or worried and might say something like, “Grandma, it’s me! I’m in trouble and need your help.” They may also start the conversation by saying, "It's me, your favorite grandchild!" to avoid giving a name, in case you don't recognize their voice.

The message will likely come out of nowhere, and the person will claim they’re in urgent trouble. Scammers try to create a sense of panic to get you to act quickly without asking too many questions.

2. Pressure to keep it a secret

The scammer might say something like, “Please don’t tell Mom or Dad!” They’ll try to convince you that they’re embarrassed, in trouble, or scared of getting in more trouble if their parents find out. This is a tactic to stop you from verifying the story with other family members who might catch the scam.

This request for secrecy is a big red flag. Real family members in trouble wouldn’t mind if you reached out to other loved ones for help or support.

3. Unfamiliar behavior or speech patterns

If the person on the phone doesn’t sound quite like your grandchild or family member, don’t ignore that feeling. Scammers might try to explain this by saying they’re upset, sick, or under stress. While it’s true that stress can change the way someone sounds, this is often an excuse scammers use to cover for their unfamiliar voice.

Also, pay attention to how they speak. If they don’t talk like your grandchild usually does, or if they don’t know personal details they should, that’s another red flag. Still, you should remember that AI makes it possible for scammers to clone your grandchild's voice and make it sound like the call is from them. You should ask questions only your real grandchild would know the answer to, like “What did we do last summer together?” or “What’s your pet’s name?” If they can’t answer these questions, it’s a sign they’re not who they claim to be.

4. Asking for money right away

The scammer’s goal is to get money from you, and they’ll usually ask for it early in the conversation. They might ask for it to be sent by wire transfer, gift cards, or even cash. Scammers prefer these methods because they’re hard to trace, and once the money is sent, it’s almost impossible to get back.

Be wary if someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time suddenly calls and asks for money—especially if they want it sent urgently.

What to Do If You Suspect a Grandparent Scam

If you get a suspicious call or message, here are the steps you can take to protect yourself:

1. Stay calm and don’t rush

Scammers want you to panic so that you’ll send money right away without thinking it through. Take a deep breath and remember that most real emergencies don’t need to be solved within minutes.

Before doing anything, take a step back and think about the situation. It’s okay to ask questions and take time to verify the story.

2. Ask specific questions

If the person on the phone claims to be your grandchild, ask them specific questions that only your grandchild would know. For example:

• “What’s the name of your pet?”

• “Where did we go on vacation last year?”

• “When is your birthday?”

If the caller avoids answering these questions or gives vague answers, it’s likely a scam.

3. Verify their story by contacting other family members

Even if the caller asks you to keep the situation secret, don’t be afraid to reach out to other family members to check if the story is true. Call your grandchild’s parents, siblings, or even the grandchild directly on their usual phone number. This is the best way to confirm whether the story is legitimate.

If your grandchild is really in trouble, their parents or someone else in the family would likely know about it.

4. Don’t send money right away—especially not via wire transfer or gift cards

If someone asks for money via wire transfer, gift cards, or a cash delivery service like Western Union, it’s almost always a scam. These methods make it easy for scammers to collect the money without being traced, and once the money is sent, it’s very difficult to recover.

Real family members in trouble wouldn’t ask you to send money this way. If you’re concerned about your grandchild, verify their situation first before sending any money.

5. Trust your instincts

If something feels off, trust that feeling. Scammers are good at making their story sound urgent and convincing, but if you have any doubts, take the time to check things out before taking action.

What to Do If You’ve Been Scammed

If you realize that you’ve been a victim of a grandparent scam, don’t be embarrassed—it can happen to anyone. Here are the steps you should take:

1. Contact your bank or credit card company

If you’ve sent money, contact your bank or credit card company right away. They may be able to stop the payment or help you recover some of the funds. If you’ve sent money via a wire transfer service like Western Union, contact the company immediately to report the scam.

2. Report the scam to the authorities

You can report the scam to your local police department, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), or the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3). Reporting the scam helps prevent other people from becoming victims.

3. Notify your family

Let your family members know what happened so they can help protect you and take steps to prevent future scams. They can offer support and help you monitor any further suspicious activity.

Conclusion

Grandparent scams can be deeply upsetting, but the best way to protect yourself is by staying informed and cautious. Scammers prey on your love and concern for your family, but by knowing the warning signs and taking time to verify any suspicious stories, you can avoid falling for these heartless tricks.

Always remember to ask questions, verify stories with other family members, and never send money until you’re sure the situation is real. If you ever feel uncertain, don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust for help.

Your loved ones would never want you to send money without making sure everything is okay first. Stay calm, ask questions, and protect yourself from those who want to take advantage of your kindness.