Is Your Online Relationship a Scam?

Love scams, also called romance scams, are a growing problem, especially for seniors who are using online platforms to meet new people. These scammers are skilled manipulators who build fake relationships with the sole intention of stealing your money or personal information. Scammers usually approach their victims on dating websites, social media platforms, or even through email. They use kind words, attention, and flattering photos to gain your trust over time. While it might feel like they’re genuinely interested in you, they’re likely targeting you for financial gain.

They often use photos stolen from other people’s profiles or even create fake photos using advanced technology like AI (Artificial Intelligence). These images can look incredibly real, which is why it's crucial to know how to identify the signs of a love scam.

How Love Scams Work

Romance scammers typically start slow, contacting you with a friendly or flirty message. Over time, they increase their emotional involvement and work to build trust. They might even communicate with you for weeks or months before asking for money, creating a sense of closeness to make you feel like you’re in a real relationship. Once they think you’re invested, they’ll share a sad or urgent story—often involving health problems, family emergencies, or needing funds for travel. The goal is to make you feel so emotionally connected that you’re willing to send them money or personal information without a second thought.

How to Spot Love Scams

Here are the most common signs that someone might be trying to scam you:

1. Moving too fast

One of the biggest warning signs is when someone you’ve just met online says they have strong feelings for you very quickly. If they start talking about love or a deep emotional connection after only a few messages or days, this is a red flag. Real relationships take time to build, and scammers often try to speed things up to make you feel special. They want to get you emotionally invested before you have a chance to question their motives.

Pay attention to the language they use. If someone you’ve just met starts calling you “darling,” “sweetheart,” or says things like, “I’ve never felt this way before,” after just a few conversations, it’s likely part of their manipulation strategy. Scammers use flattery and charm to make you trust them.

2. Won’t meet in person or video chat

A genuine romantic interest will want to meet you in person or at least have a video chat. If the person you’re talking to refuses to meet face-to-face or on a video call, this is a major warning sign. Scammers often offer excuses like being deployed in the military, working overseas, or having a broken camera or phone. These excuses allow them to hide their real identity. They don’t want you to see their face because it might give away that they’re not who they claim to be.

If they repeatedly avoid video calls or in-person meetings and always have a reason why they can’t see you, it’s best to end the relationship immediately. In a legitimate online relationship, both parties are usually eager to meet each other in real life once they’ve gotten to know each other.

3. Inconsistent or vague details

Scammers are not always good at keeping their stories straight. Pay attention to the small details they share about their life. If they frequently contradict themselves or offer vague answers about where they live, work, or their family, it’s a sign they could be lying. For example, they might say they’re from a certain city, but when you ask about specific places in that city, they struggle to provide details. Or, they might claim to have a certain job but avoid talking about the specifics of what they do.

Another trick scammers use is constantly changing their story to avoid questions. They might suddenly mention a new job or a relocation to another country, making it harder for you to track their life story. If their answers seem inconsistent or hard to believe, that’s a major red flag.

4. Asking for money

The most telling sign of a love scam is when they ask for money. No matter how convincing their story is, never send money to someone you’ve never met in person. Scammers usually make up heartbreaking stories, like being stuck in a foreign country, needing money for an emergency surgery, or wanting to visit you but lacking the funds for a plane ticket.

They may ask for the money to be sent through wire transfers, gift cards, or other untraceable methods. Once you send the money, it’s nearly impossible to get it back. Even if they promise to pay you back or come visit, these are just lies to keep you hooked.

5. Fake or too-perfect photos

Scammers often use stolen photos from someone else’s social media profile, or they might create photos using artificial intelligence (AI). These fake photos are designed to look attractive and real, but sometimes there are subtle signs that something is off. The person might look “too perfect,” or their appearance might seem inconsistent in different pictures (for example, their hair color or style changes drastically, but they don’t mention it). They may also avoid sending you new photos when you ask for them.

If you have any doubts about the person’s photos, you can check if they are stolen by doing a reverse image search. Here’s how:

Save the photo to your computer or phone.
Open your web browser and go to images.google.com.
Click on the camera icon in the search bar.
Upload the photo you saved or paste the link to the picture.
Google will show where else this photo appears online. If you find the same photo being used under different names or locations, it’s likely the person is using a stolen or fake image.

What to Do if You’re Suspicious

If you suspect someone might be trying to scam you, here are the steps to protect yourself:

1. Stop communication immediately

Once you notice any red flags, stop communicating with the person right away. Scammers are skilled at making you feel guilty or ashamed for doubting them, so it’s best to cut off contact before they can manipulate you further.

2. Do a reverse image search on their photos

As mentioned earlier, if their photos seem too perfect or something feels off, you can use a reverse image search to see if their pictures are being used elsewhere on the internet. This can help you determine if they’ve stolen someone else’s identity.

3. Talk to friends or family members

Sometimes, it’s easy to overlook red flags when you’re emotionally invested. If you’re unsure about the person, talk to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns. They can offer an outside perspective and may notice things you missed.

4. Report the scammer

If you’re sure the person is a scammer, report their profile to the website or platform where you met them. Most dating websites and social media platforms have ways to report suspicious behavior, and your report could help protect others from falling for the same scam.

5. Never send money or gifts

No matter how convincing the story is, never send money, gift cards, or anything of value to someone you’ve never met in person. If they’re truly interested in you, they won’t ask for financial help.

Final Thoughts:

Love scams can be emotionally devastating, but by staying vigilant and knowing the signs, you can protect yourself. Remember, real relationships take time to develop, and anyone who moves too fast or asks for money early on is likely a scammer. Always trust your instincts—if something feels wrong, it probably is. Talk to friends or family about any online relationships you’re developing, and never hesitate to end communication with someone who makes you uncomfortable. Your safety and well-being should always come first.

If you ever suspect you’re being targeted by a love scam, it’s okay to take a step back and get advice. You’re not alone, and there are plenty of resources available to help you stay safe online.